To be frank, I´m not actually sure that I agree with all the parts of this list, but I really agree to nr 10...
You know you've been in Sweden too long, when...
- It's acceptable to eat lunch at 11.00.
- You think Leif 'Loket' Olsson is entertaining.
- You rummage through your plastic bag collection to see which ones you should keep to
take to the store and which can be sacrificed to garbage.
- You associate pea soup with Thursday.
- The first thing you do on entering a bank/post office/pharmacy etc. is look for the
queue number machine.
- You accept that you will have to queue to take a queue number.
- A sharp intake of breath has become part of your vocabulary, as has the sound 'ahh'.
- You associate Friday afternoon with a trip to system
- You think nothing of paying $50 for a bottle of 'cheap' spirits at system bolaget.
- Silence is fun.
- Your native language has seriously deteriorated; you begin to "eat medicine"
and "hire videos".
- Your front door step is beginning to resemble a shoe shop.
- When a stranger on the street smiles at you, you assume that:
a. he is drunk;
b. he is insane;
c. he is American;
d. he is all of the above.
- You stay home on Saturday night to watch Bingolotto.
- It seems sensible that the age limit at Stockholm night clubs is 23 or 25.
- The reason you take the ferry to Finland is:
a. duty free vodka
b. duty free beer
c. to party
- The only reason for getting of the boat in Helsinki is to eat pizza.
- It no longer seems excessive to spend $200 on alcohol in a single night.
- The fact that all of the "v's" and the "w's" are together in the
phone directory seems right.
- You care who wins 'Expedition: Robinson'.
- Your old habit of being "fashionably late" is no longer acceptable. You are
always on time.
- You no longer see any problem wearing white socks with loafers.
- You know that "religious holiday" means "let's get pissed."
- You are no longer scared of volvos and volvo drivers.
- You have your own innebandy club.
- You enjoy the taste of surströmming.
- You find yourself debating the politics of Göran Persson.
- You use mmmm as a conversation filler.
- An outside temperature of 9 degrees Celsius is mild.
- When someone asks for "three cheers", you say "hoorah, hoorah, hoorah,
- You wear sandals with socks.
- You eat jam with savoury dishes.
- You have only two facial expressions, smiling or blank.
- You think riding a racing bike in the snow is a perfectly sensible thing to do.
- You think it's more fun to stay at home and drink then go out.
- You wear warm clothing when it's 25 degrees plus in April - because it's April.
- You wear shorts and t-shirt when it's barely 10 degrees in July - because it's July.
- You get extremely annoyed when the bus is two minutes late.
- You think women are more than equal than men and deserve to have better positions in the
- Your wife watches TV while you look after the kids.
- You become a punctuality freak and dump your friends for being late more than once.
- You spend the week's entertainment budget on a pack of cigarettes and a drink in Gamla
- When a stranger asks you a question in the streets, you think it's normal to just keep
walking, saying nothing.
- You've been engaged for four years and don't have any plans to get married.
- Americans start to look entertaining, witty and fun, and you just want to go to the
U.S.A., travelling across country on a greyhound, because it's "romantic."
- You and your friends know exactly the same information, and have the same attitudes and
beliefs in the value of Social Democracy.
- You lose any artistic talent whatsoever.
- You think that if you smoke a joint you will wind up in an insane asylum. [or become a
- You seriously contemplate getting into S & M.
- You wear a dress or skirt over your trousers and combine them with training shoes. [this
is especially problematic if you're male]
- You jot down 'fisk fingrar' on your shopping list.
- You no longer look for Vegemite on supermarket shelves, even if it's your first time in
that particular store.
- You think black rimmed glasses are cool.
- Your wardrobe now consists of 20 different shades of black and grey.
- You get excited watching a bunch of lame 'celebrities' on a fortress island playing
games that are about as intelligent as mud-wrestling.
- You look forward to the next program about practical jokes done on lame
celebrities/has-beens by other lame celebrities who don't really deserve air time.
- It doesn't feel like lunch unless it's a hot, full course meal drenched in gravy.
- You eat unlimited amounts of sausage products without worrying about your nitrate
- You think that an unripe wedge of tomato on a limp leaf of iceberg lettuce can be called
- You don't question the concept of 'telephone time'.
- It seems reasonable that no business can be conducted on Friday afternoons. [or the
entire month of July]
- You assume that anyone who apologises after bumping into you is a tourist.
- You think it is normal that a huge restaurant has a smoking section which consists of
three tables near the door.
- You reach for your pocket 20 times a day as mobile phones ring all around you.
- You actually care if your mobile phone meets the fashion standard - and so do your new
- It seems reasonable that even those asking you for money at T-centralen reach for their
pocket as the melodic music of the Swedish mobile phone resounds.
- You get into a Mercedes taxi cab and think nothing of it.
- Paying $5 for a cup of coffee seems reasonable.
- You understand that when a colleague asks you out for "a drink," it will
probably be a long night with a severe hangover the next day.
- You start to think that having a sauna in the nude with a bunch of strangers is a
necessary part of daily life ... and a necessary part of business.
- You believe that when you finally win your Nobel Prize, it is best to be modest and say
"Oh really, it was nothing!"
- You get offended if, at a dinner party, someone fails to look you in the eyes after
raising their glass for a toast.
- Seeing a young woman with lit candles stuck to her head no longer disturbs you.
- You become extremely skilled at assembling pre-packaged furniture kits.
- "Candles" are a permanent fixture on your weekly shopping list.
- You get to the movies early so that you can watch the commercials.
- Most of your friends have the same names and you must use both names to distinguish
Thanks to Paul Dickman for letting me use this list.